Many of us struggle with the uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty. Now, that discomfort is at an all time high as we look ahead and ask: ‘When life will go back go to normal again?’‘What will “normal” look like?’ ‘When will that be safe?’ ‘What is safe?’
We are all creatures of habit. When we feel in control, we feel good. When things don’t go as planned or life throws a curveball we didn’t expect, we often feel frightened, unsure and helpless. So what can we do? If we don’t know the answers. We don’t know the future. Is there a way to get out of the endless uncomfortable “what if?” spiral?
How can we move forward, gain a little control back in our lives, and not live off the uncertainties of today? Here are three simple, but maybe not easy tools to try.
Ask yourself, what is steady in my life?
While this may seem like a simple question, you may be surprised if you pause and think about it. There are so many simple, consistent, steady things in our lives that we take for granted.
Do a quick inventory. Do you have one person in your life who loves & supports you? If so, you’re lucky, and you know no distance can change that. Do you wake up in the same room every day? Have you noticed that the sun rises and sets every day without question. Is there a favorite comfy spot in your house you sit every day? Is your heart beating? Lungs breathing?
The trees are blooming. The birds are singing. Nature, the earth, are hard at work to create a safe ecosystem with oxygen, shade, and beautiful colors for us all to live. Look around you, notice the small things that are constant. They are there.
Rewind…Go Back to Your Roots, Personal Values or Faith:
This time of change has stripped life down to the basics. When we take away so many parts of our everyday routine,we’re left with just ourselves to sit with.
When you remove work, errands, tasks and possessions, maybe even health, you may ask, what is there? What cannot be taken away?
What is your North Star? Maybe it’s your faith, maybe it’s your values, (love, joy, honesty, perseverance, expression.) This is the time to cling to those values that will become your true constant and guide. Rewind, and go back to your foundation. What lasts beyond time, what is your core.
Learn to Start Accepting Uncertainty:
We may not like it, but the one thing we can be certain about is that uncertainty is part of life. It is acceptance, not worrying, that can be used as a useful coping tool to deal with what you’re facing.
Once you accept the (sometimes painful) truth in front of you, you can take the next step forward. Worrying doesn’t help or cure, it only magnifies the problems.
Try noticing when you feel anxious or craving certainty. Instead of fighting yourself to gain control, sit and experience the discomfort of uncertainty. Remind yourself while you wish to have an answer, you can breath in and out, and remind yourself that uncertainty is a part of life. Anchor yourself in the present and take action on something you know you do have control over.
Emily believes laughter is the surprising secret to surviving tough times. She is able to bring light, laughter and fun to just about any situation. In her own teen years, Emily had a tumultuous time, which uniquely equips her to understand adolescent girls–as well as the power of counseling. Emily has 10+ years clinical experience with underserved children, adolescents, women of domestic violence, seniors in living facilities, agencies, family service centers and health centers, which means she is comfortable and experienced in just about any situation.
Emily helps children (3-12), adolescents (13-22), adults & seniors who want to improve their anxiety, relationships, self-esteem, boundaries and self-acceptance.
She is accepting new clients for telemental health (video, phone, zoom, etc.) To book a session or find out more call (847) 919-9096 x1 or [email protected]
While this may seem like a simple question, you may be surprised if you pause and think about it. There are so many simple, consistent, steady things in our lives that we take for granted.
