I was scrolling through social media when I came upon a friend’s post, “need advice because I am only getting a couple of hours of sleep at night.” She soon got all kinds of suggestions, “Try Xanax” one friend recommended with a smile emoji, “Ambien” another wrote with prayer hands. Someone from her virtual book club suggested a hot shower and lavender tea before bedtime.
My Social Worker heart couldn’t help thinking about all she has been through recently — the death of her beloved mother, a son who was supposed to start college a couple of months ago only to find out campus was pretty much shut down, a husband working as a doctor on the front lines.
With all that on her shoulders–no wonder she’s having trouble sleeping! I’m not against medication, but doctors and psychiatrists prescribe with caution because medications all have different side effects.
As a Social Worker, I have seen firsthand the relief, freedom and happiness people experience by tending to the deeper feelings under the surface. I believe people heal through connection. Best of all, no side effects other than improved sleep, energy and confidence!
It would have been a lot easier and safer to text her saying, “thinking of you” or “try warm milk.”
Instead, I dared to do something out of the box; I picked up the phone and called to say that I was thinking about her.
When she called back, I could hear the emotion in her voice. We talked about her dear mother and shared so many great memories and a few laughs — we connected. That’s when I took a deep breath and got the courage to offer another solution to consider.
I gently suggested maybe it was time for her to put herself on her “To Do List” and go talk to a therapist. Even if it was virtual. Even if it was just for a few sessions. It was time to make herself a priority.
Maybe she could learn some mindfulness techniques, meditation,or tools to help with the overwhelming anxiety and grief.
A few weeks later, I was so happy to hear she found a therapist! It was a great fit. She felt better and was finally able to sleep through the night.
Call it a guess, but I don’t think my friend is the only one struggling right now. I’m talking to you, moms.
We’re all going through so much. People are lonely, isolated and stressed.
As we get closer to the holidays, families are struggling with whether or not they will see their loved ones for Thanksgiving, and how they will manage relationships and money.
It will be easy to lose sight of putting yourself on the to-do list. It’s much easier to stay busy and do things for everyone else. As women and moms, we set the tone for our whole house. If we don’t take care of ourselves, how will we take care of our families and friends? And, how can we tell our kids to take care of themselves if we don’t.
If you’re reading this now, maybe this is your sign that it’s time you add yourself to the list too, friend.
However that looks to you–take a risk, try something new, connect with an old friend, get a personal therapist to support you, call someone–just make sure you don’t forget about you during this trying time.
Lauren believes that therapy can truly change how you see yourself, how you feel, and how you experience life. Asking for help when you need it is a strength and the first step toward transforming your life and making lasting, meaningful changes.
Lauren creates a safe and compassionate space to explore issues and relieve the distress that is interfering in your life. Using evidence based practices, Lauren fosters healing, growth and change toward a happier and fulfilling life.
Lauren works with children, adolescents, adults, couples and families.
Anxiety, Depression, Trauma, Bipolar Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Stress Management, Women’s Issues/Relationship Issues, Premarital/Couples Counseling, Family Issues, Life Transitions, Development Issues (School, Academic, Learning Disorders) ADHD
Lauren is accepting new clients with convenient daytime/evening hours and is in-network with BCBS, UnitedHealtcare and Humana.
To schedule an appointment with her call (847) 919-9096 ext 1. or [email protected]
About Lauren Giles
