by Katelyn Easter, MS, AMFT, CCTP
How can your family confront and manage this disruptive life challenge?
A resilient family is a family who is able to withstand and rebound from serious life challenges. Resiliency is not just “bouncing back” but instead it is “bouncing forward” where your family is able to adapt to the changed conditions they face.
Resiliency is arguably one of the greatest keys to success in life. Unfortunately, the only way to strengthen resiliency is through challenges. While your family, and collective mankind, has been given this challenge of COVID-19, there is an opportunity for you, your family and all of us, to come out stronger, better and more connected.
Here are some ways your family can adapt to these new circumstances at this time.
- Nurture relationships – play games, watch movies, go for walks and have home cooked meals together as a family to show that you all are actively there for one another and show up for one another
- Create boundaries – while all of this family time is wonderful….it is a lot sometimes too…so be sure to create healthy boundaries within the home. This shows everyone in the family there is respect for personal boundaries within the family.
For example. I’ve had many families create times throughout the day where they have their own “alone time” where they are able to be in the quiet by themselves to regain energy to spent time with others again…remember some people are re-energized by being with others, while other people are re-energized by being alone for a bit. Every person is different. - Ask for help and share how you are feeling which shows everyone in the family that you are human and it is okay no matter what you are feeling. Life changing events affect everyone differently so accept your feelings and honor your feelings as valid.
- Be in the present moment. You cannot control where we are in the world at this moment, so just be – be whatever you need to be for yourself without judgement. I always remind people that you cannot expect the same things from yourself every single day. You need to meet yourself where you are at emotionally and physically and strive to be present and just “show up” each day, rather than expect perfection from yourself each day. That is an impossible goal that is not attainable.
- Stay hopeful – having a sense of hope and ability to know that you can control personal things such as your behavior and reactions can help people cope more successfully whereas having a sense of helplessness will not.
Above all else — Do what works for your family and try not to compare yourself to others!! Your family is unique and what works for one family might not work for the next. Do whatever works for your family.
We are all moving through this time in ways that work for us which is completely different for each unique person. Some people are finding themselves struggling at times, but resilience and moving through challenges involves struggling, and hey I think we are all “struggling well” :)
Remember you are doing your best and you are doing just fine.