If we’re looking to keep your kids safe on social media or technology…it doesn’t come from rules, firewalls or limits.
It comes from your relationship with your kids.
There’s a wise, old saying from parenting experts that says: “Rules without Relationship leads to Rebellion.” Here’s the truth, as parents we’re all concerned about the impact of social media on our kids, in almost every way. And there’s valid reasons for that. But, if we only focus our fears on making rules, setting limits, reading our kids texts, looking through their browser history — we’re missing a big opportunity.
We miss the opportunity to connect with our kids and empower them to make wise choices. By giving kids information about the realities and potential issues that Social Media can cause AND the science of what it does to their moods & happiness, we can start to have a conversation and let kids come to their own rules, conclusions and make better decisions with social media, gaming and technology in general.
The truth is, there are many positive things about social media as well. Current events, news, tutorials, educational tools, the ability to make & create art, music, writing ….but most of all social connection.
Like it or not, social media is a way for most teens to connect socially. The need for social connections in adolescents and teen years become incredibly important. If you think about it, it’s the way the human species survives. As kids emerge into adulthood, their social connections will lead to their support system, their work colleagues and eventually their own family.
Not only that, but as humans we can’t survive alone. If someone was to put you on an island alone without any medical, housing or farming…most of us would not last long. Our brains know this. Unconsciously, we need other people for our survival.
That’s why when we feel cut off or disconnected socially, it can feel like a matter of life or death — especially for kids and teens.
This doesn’t mean we should just give kids all the screen time and access to social media they want. What it does mean is that we have an opportunity to have a conversation where we empower our kids to think for themselves, help them understand the pros and cons of social media and long-term consequences to be careful about.
Below are some sample conversation starters you can use with your kids! We’d love to hear other ideas, please leave a comment if you have other tips on how you’ve talked to your kids about social media.
