When I found out that my husband and I were expecting our first little one, I couldn’t have been more excited! Having the need for control that I do (anyone else??) I immediately went into prepare mode. My husband and I spent hours perfecting the nursery in our home, filling it with all the essentials and more. My husband graciously agreed to attend every class I could find from Lamaze, to Caring for a Newborn, to infant CPR. Anything to give me the false illusion of control, I took it. We were going to be prepared and things were going to go to plan.
But nothing could have prepared me for what was to come.
Motherhood is such a gift, that comes with its own set of challenges. I was learning day by day how to adjust to my new normal and our new routine, while adapting to surviving on very little sleep, and learning how to care for our precious little one. As talks of COVID-19 started to amp up, I noticed feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, and fear start to peak. The racing thoughts of fear, anxiety, and panic started to swirl in my head.
I was flooded with questions like “How am I supposed to protect our new baby? How long is this going to last? When are things going to return to normal?” As if being a new mom wasn’t already stirring some fear and anxiety in me… suddenly I felt even more out of control. No matter who you are, whether it be a new mom, a teenager, a mother of 4, a business man, a college student, a global pandemic is overwhelming to say the least. However, as I’ve been on my journey through motherhood during such unknown times, there are a few things that I have become more intentional about, and I’ve noticed it’s helping to make the difference.
Stay in the present moment
With so much unknown, it’s normal to have some anxiety about the future. After all, anxiety lives in the future… in the “what if.” Anxiety pulls us from living in the moment and being fully present.
One thing that aids in staying in the moment is limiting the amount of news being watched in your household. While we want to stay informed, the constant talk about COVID-19 can fuel anxiety and fear. Instead, set parameters on time spent watching the news and scrolling through social media. And when seeking information to be informed, refer to reputable sources.
Focus on what you can control rather than dwelling on what you can’t
In such uncertain times, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by what is out of our control. Instead, focus on what you can control. What can you do about the things you can control, in this moment, today?
You have control and power over your self-care and health practices. What is one step you can take today to exercise control over those things? Maybe that means taking time to take care of yourself physically, with adequate rest, exercise, and healthy eating choices. Or, maybe it’s making your mental health a priority and scheduling time with a therapist to gain support. Whatever it may be for you, identify it, and take action.
Seek connection and positivity
With cancellations coming from every direction including schools, businesses, events, etc. it can be easy to become unsettled by all the change at one time. One might be asking what’s next or what’s left? I recently came across a post that gently reminded me:
Conversations will not be cancelled. Relationships will not be cancelled. Love will not be cancelled. Songs will not be cancelled. Reading will not be cancelled. Self-care will not be cancelled. Hope will not be cancelled. May we lean into the good stuff that remains. -Jamie Tworkowski
For many of us that are always on the go and moving to the next thing, let’s take this as an opportunity to appreciate that “good stuff” that remains. Things will once again return to normal. In the meantime, call your friend that you haven’t spoken to in a while, get on the floor and play that board game with your kids, pick up the book that’s been sitting on your nightstand for months. Connect, relate, and be present with others.
We will get through this. One day at a time. Together.
Nikkie is a new mom, EMDR-trained therapist, who helps people overcome traumas, challenges from childhood, anxiety among other things. Nikkie grew up in the North Shore and loves helping adolescents as well as young adults, new moms and women.
She is accepting new clients, to book a session with Nikkie, call the office at (847) 919-9096 ext 1 or email [email protected]
