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December 29, 2021 By laurenschiff

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How to Manage Social Anxiety As a therapist, I se

How to Manage Social Anxiety

As a therapist, I see clients every day who are struggling with social anxiety. It's tough to put yourself out there and feel nervous or anxious in social situations. But the good news is, there are ways to manage these feelings and cope with social anxiety.

One of the most important things you can do is to become your own best friend. That's right, talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend! You’d never say to a friend “You’re a loser, Or, you’re an idiot.” Think of things you’ve said to friends instead, “You’ve got this! You’re so kind. Everyone makes mistakes, it’s no big deal.” Give yourself a good pep talk before heading out into social situations. Set some rules for yourself, like not putting yourself down, talking about certain topics and focusing on loving and respecting yourself.

Another great hack is to ask questions or give a compliment! Show a genuine interest in someone else. It will draw the other person out and take the focus off of yourself. This can help you relax and enjoy the conversation.

Don't forget to set boundaries that respect yourself, too. It's okay to say no and take care of yourself. Don't feel pressured to do anything that makes you uncomfortable or goes against your values and beliefs.

If you start to get overwhelmed at any point, give yourself a bathroom break. Take a couple of deep breaths, reset, smile at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a pat on the back for being so brave.

Remember, dealing with social anxiety can be tough, but it's possible to manage these feelings and enjoy social situations with practice and patience. Celebrate small victories along the way and be kind to yourself. You've got this!

#mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #therapist #relationshippodcast #healthyboundaries

15 Things to Say to a Venting Friend That Aren’t

15 Things to Say to a Venting Friend That Aren’t Unsolicited Advice

When a friend is venting, it's important to provide them with a listening ear and support. Here are some things you can say to a friend who is venting that isn't advice:

"I hear you."
“I’ve been there too.”
"I totally understand why you're feeling that way."
"That sounds really tough."
"I'm sorry you're going through this."
“I wish I could make it better for you.”
"You have every right to feel the way you do."
"Thank you for sharing this with me."
"I appreciate your honesty."
"I'm here for you."
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
"It's okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes."
"You're not alone in this."
“We’ve got this.”
"I can/can’t imagine how hard this is for you."
"That must be really frustrating/upsetting/disappointing."
"You're doing your best and that's all that matters."
"I care about you and I'm here to support you."

Remember, sometimes just being present and listening can be more helpful than trying to offer solutions or advice. It's important to validate your friend's feelings and show that you care.

#mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #therapist #relationshippodcast #healthyboundaries

I’m so jealous! Honestly, jealousy is somethin

I’m so jealous!

Honestly, jealousy is something I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember.

I’m lucky to have so many amazing, talented, successful, cool people in my life. If you’re reading this, I consider you one of them! 😉

Being surrounded by amazing people is awesome.

Social media has opened the doors to so many beautiful, inspiring places and people across the globe. But, for me, I can call in the trap of feeling less than or not good enough.

We see a perfect picture on Instagram and compare it to the very real version of our life. But we forget we have good things that others might want. We also forget that everyone has challenges, they just don’t show up on social media. It’s so easy to lose perspective.

I tried so hard to stuff it down and not feel it. But it was impossible. I now know we really can’t stop feeling anything. But we can change it!

Here’s the odd thing— I actually didn’t want to stop feeling jealous. There is something beautiful in my jealousy as I see the good in other people.

There is always something I can find special about a person. I love that!!

The problem comes when I start comparing myself to that amazing thing I see in another person. That’s when the bad part of jealousy creeps in.

I found a trick to flip that all around.

The trick is to
— Believe the world is an abundant place. If someone else has something good, that means there is good out in the world for you too!
— Get curious about your jealousy. Look at it like a clue. That jealousy is telling you something that’s important for you.
— Look at someone else’s good fortune as a road map.

Gratitude is another antidote to jealousy’s poison. It’s not something you have to force. The problem with jealousy is that we compare someone’s specific good fortune to our life. We forget that we all have good things and hard things, they’re just not the same.

At the end of the day, you are beautiful. Your precious life is beautiful.

And — if you need to hear this — I’m jealous of YOU!! In the best way possible, of course 😉😂❤️🫶🏻

As a therapist, I often get asked how I navigate m

As a therapist, I often get asked how I navigate my own personal friendships and relationships.

It's an interesting question because as professionals, we're not supposed to do therapy with our family or friends. This is a rule I stick to, but some of the core principles that I've learned as a therapist have made me a better friend, mom, and wife.

One of the most important principles that I've learned is the power of listening without giving advice.

In therapy, I listen to my clients without trying to solve all their problems. Instead, I help them feel their feelings and work through them in a safe and non-judgmental environment.

By applying the principle of not giving unsolicited advice and instead listening and empathizing, I have become a better listener in my personal relationships.

Another important principle that I've learned is confidentiality. In therapy, confidentiality is crucial to building trust with my clients. The same applies to my personal relationships. Nothing makes me happier than when my friends call me “the vault.”

When a friend or family member shares something personal with me, and they learn that I’m not going to gossip or share what they say, it builds trust and deepens our relationship. It's incredibly powerful when someone realizes that they can trust you with their deepest secrets and feelings.

Also, as a therapist, it's important to advocate for what feels right and to speak up when something doesn't sit well with me. The same applies to my personal relationships. While I always follow my rule of “give it one night’s sleep” before bringing anything up, it's important to set boundaries and speak up when something doesn't feel right.

As you can see, you don’t need to have a degree or certification in psychology or counseling to simply be a good friend.

Hi sweet friend!! We were overwhelmed with Inspi

Hi sweet friend!!

We were overwhelmed with Inspire families' positive responses to our psychiatry services. We're excited to be able to support kids as young as 3 years old now!! Meet our newest Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner, Melissa Stefanowicz).

Melissa supports kids ages 3-12, adolescents, young adults and adults of all ages!!

Specializing in ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Mood disorders, Thought Disorders, Trauma-informed care, PTSD, Eating Disorders, Adjustment and Life Transitions, LGBTQIA Affirming Care

As a mom of 3 herself, wife (and 20+ years of healthcare experience) Melissa truly understands how mental health impacts the whole family.

To book an apt call
(847) 919-9096 ext 3
psychiatry@inspirecounselingcenter.com

We can all use more confidence, right? Here are so

We can all use more confidence, right? Here are some quotes about confidence to inspire you:⁠
⁠
"Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle." - Christian D. Larson⁠
⁠
"Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong." - Peter T. Mcintyre⁠
⁠
"Confidence is 10% hard work and 90% delusion." - Ellen DeGeneres⁠
⁠
"Confidence is the foundation of all great success and achievement." - Brian Tracy⁠
⁠
"Confidence is not 'they will like me.' Confidence is 'I'll be fine if they don't.'" - Chris Bailey⁠
⁠
"Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control." - Richard Kline

USE THIS QUICK TRICK FOR MORE CONFIDENCE⁠ ⁠ Di

USE THIS QUICK TRICK FOR MORE CONFIDENCE⁠
⁠
Did you know that confidence is physiological?⁠
⁠
When we walk into a room feeling nervous, our body language sends a message to our brain that we're not confident. But the good news is, we can use our body to trick our brain into feeling confident.⁠
⁠
Here's how: Stand up tall, pull your shoulders back, sit up straight, and hold your face open. Even if it feels silly, this sends a message to your brain that you're confident and ready to tackle the day. And when other people see you, they'll sense that confidence too. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy!⁠
⁠
But what if you're feeling nervous before a big meeting or an event? ⁠
⁠
No problem! Give yourself a private confidence boost by standing tall, putting your hands on your hips like a victory pose, or even putting your hands in the air in a "V" like you just won the Olympics. Do this for 30 seconds, and your brain will start to believe that you're confident. You can even do this in a bathroom stall or at home before you leave.⁠
⁠
The best part is, you don't even have to believe in the trick for it to work! Your brain believes what your body tells it.

Anyone else struggle with anxiety or feeling overw

Anyone else struggle with anxiety or feeling overwhelmed sometimes? 🙋🏼‍♀️

Anxiety is one of the #1 things I help clients with — it’s everywhere and something almost all of us struggle with, myself included!!

A quirky saying I made up is called “The enemy of anxiety is action.”

Overwhelm and anxiety can paralyze us. Which makes the anxiety worse. 🔄 it’s a vicious cycle.

Taking some kind of action, no matter how small, is one of the easiest ways to reduce anxiety and break the cycle.

➡️Feeling anxious about packing your family for vacation? Start laying out your clothes, making a list, and packing one small bag will naturally start to reduce the overwhelming task looming over your head.

➡️Have a million emails to get through? Open one email and start chopping the list (and overwhelming feeling!) down.

➡️ Feeling FOMO or like you’re out of touch with friends? Reach out to someone and talk about it. Or better yet- ask someone to get together and connect!

➡️Worried about health concerns? Get it checked out by a doctor. Knowledge is power.

Anxiety is designed to tell us something. It shows us what’s important to us, or what bothers us. Look at it as a great clue to be curious with what you need —and what you can do to get what you need!!

If you try taking action to reduce your anxiety and still feel like it doesn’t help, that’s a sign that you may need some suport. Support doesn’t always mean a therapist. There are tons of great books, podcasts, articles out there. If do want to try talking to a therapist, I know some people. 😉😂

No matter what - anxiety doesn’t have to rule your life. It’s so much more fun and freeing without it. You deserve to have peace of mind so you call fully enjoy your one-and-only life.

Get out there and have some fun!!! ❤️🫶🏻 You’ve got this!

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