Sending kids back to school can be an emotional time for parents. While it’s easy to minimize our feelings telling ourselves “they’ll be home at 3:30pm” or “they’ll be back in a couple of months,” or distract ourselves with the logistics of schedules, supplies, lunches, homework and everything else — don’t pass by your feelings too quickly.
Every new school year, marks a new beginning and an end. Each year we are reminded of how precious time is, and that our kids (and ourselves!) are growing older. Change can bring up a lot of feelings from the past. Change can make us uneasy. But, change is part of life and if we gloss over it– we can miss living in the now.
By allowing yourself to pause and notice your feelings, it helps you be present. Ironically, it helps you slow down time and appreciate life.
Here are some tips to try to stay in the NOW during the back-to-school season:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions, from excitement to anxiety. Recognize these feelings and understand that they are a part of the process. This can be as simple as naming your feelings. Wow, I think I feel sad. Even just thinking it
- Notice Your Body: Oftentimes our feelings have a sneaky way of showing up in our body–even if we’re not aware of it. Notice if you feel more tired than usual. Maybe you’re getting headaches or migraines. You might find yourself feeling short of breath or your heart is beating more rapidly. You may get a sudden cold or get sick. These are all possible signs that you are having feelings. Be curious about what you might possibly be feeling in those moments.
- Show and Tell with your Kids: Our kids are watching us. They’re trying to manage their own feelings about going back to school. If you show that it’s safe and okay to have feelings, it models for them how to have emotions and regulate them. You can tell them that you’re feeling and how you cope with your feelings. “I was feeling really sad this morning thinking about you going back to school. I woke up early and journaled. I love you so much and am so proud of you.”
- Get Real: If your kids talk about their fears or worries, don’t minimize it. You don’t have to always be positive or strong, pointing out all the positives about meeting new friends or tell them they’ll love it. Speak the truth. You can tell your kids, “First days are a lot. There’s so much to navigate, your brain might be so tired, but as you get used to everything, your brain will calm down and it won’t be as exhausting.” Even better — share your own feelings or experiences when you were a kid!
- Journal: Taking a few minutes to write, channels your unconscious and helps your feelings flow onto the pages. You may even be surprised what you write. It also is a beautiful way to revisit memories in the future and will help ground you into the NOW.
Remember, the back-to-school period is an adjustment for everyone. By staying connected to yourself and your feelings you can support your child through this time of transition into the new year–no matter how young or old your child is!
