Valentine’s Day. Reclaim your Power. Feel love. Give Love. Regardless of relationship status.

How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? If I’m honest, I’m not a big fan. In college, I remember walking down the dorm hallways. Everyone seemed to be swooning over gifts, flowers and romantic gestures they were receiving.

I felt slightly panicked and really anxious. I wondered to myself, “Am I loved? How much am I worth? How much do I matter?” This big question about my self-worth was left for someone else to answer. I gave away my power waiting for someone to prove my worth through the right gesture, card or gift.

I hated that moment. I decided that I wasn’t “into” Valentine’s Day because that was easier than admitting I was terrified to be disappointed, unlovable or unworthy.
Today, after processing through my own therapy, I’m working on reclaiming my power, my worth AND still celebrate Valentine’s Day. It’s what we call a “both and” situation for this Hallmark holiday.

One of the biggest issues with Valentine’s Day is that typically it’s up to someone else to show their love and appreciation of you. There’s a strong emphasis on romantic relationships. So, even if you’re in a romantic relationship, your experience of Valentine’s Day can feel out of your control.

We can reclaim that power now. The one redeeming thing about Valentine’s Day is that it’s about love. Every one of us can celebrate love, no matter if you are in a relationship, or have ever been in one.

I now look at Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to spread love. To everyone–including myself.

Here are a few ideas to reclaim your power, feeling love and happiness on Valentine’s Day, even if there’s no one to share it with this year.

  • Sit down by yourself and take a deep breath.
  • Start the day with a list of gratitudes. Get your brain in the “positive gear”
  • Write a love note to yourself! Actually put pen to paper, or write it in your “notes” in your phone. Think about what makes you unique? What have you overcome? What are challenges you’ve endured? What are some things you like about yourself!
  • Think about a person or people you have loved. Write down some “magic moments” or fond memories you’ve shared together. Write down everything you can remember. Where you were, what you were doing, how you felt. Soak in the love you felt. The coolest part about this, is that the person you love doesn’t even have to be living. Or maybe it’s impossible for you to see them that day, or you’re not in relationship anymore. Your love is real. Love exists beyond time and even life.
  • Do something loving or kind for someone else. Whether it’s someone who is overlooked, someone you don’t know. It can be as simple as letting someone cut you in line, or a kind compliment. Offering kindness to someone else is one of the quickest ways to feel happy.
  • Express love to the universe. Whether it’s a quiet moment smiling to the sky, trees, nature– or a prayer in your heart. The universe works hard each and everyday to keep this planet going for you. Send loving intentions and gratitude to the trees that make fresh air for you, the sun that keeps us from freezing, or the moon that keeps the ocean tide in check. It’s all part of the world’s love for YOU!!

Today, I want to know that I LOVE YOU!! Even if we haven’t met, I’m here to tell you — you are worthy of love. You’re a blessing to this planet. And, I’m so glad you are here.
I hope you take a moment to love yourself and spread some love to other people.

Never underestimate what a kind text, word, smile, letting someone cut you in line, free coffee–will do for someone else’s day. The love you have to give can change someone else’s life. Even… if you never know it.

I hope you go forward today, deciding your own self worth. Your own love. And spread it around!!

If you’d like to talk though any of this more, or want a warm hug or spot on our cozy couch, we are here to help! Call us at (847) 919-9096. To see a list of our Therapists, click here.

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