by Gretchen Zagzebski, LCPC
Challenging conversations are not only important but are also necessary to move forward. But what do you do when your perspective is different than the person you are talking to? Brené Brown writes in her book “Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone”
“People often silence themselves, or “agree to disagree” without fully exploring the actual nature of the disagreement, for the sake of protecting a relationship and maintaining connection. But when we avoid certain conversations, and never fully learn how the other person feels about all of the issues, we sometimes end up making assumptions that not only perpetuate but deepen misunderstandings, and that can generate resentment.”
So let’s talk.
Whether friend, child, partner or stranger, do so in a way that supports one another’s dreams within the conflict. Dr. John M. Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman (2014) have created some guidelines about where to start in what they call discovering “Dreams Within Conflict”.